Kids Yoga - My Many Colored Days

A woman, who has taught yoga to adults for over a decade, has a child.  She loves her child dearly.  She loves her friends' children as well.  So you would think that teaching a yoga class for children would be an ideal fit for her, right?

This is what my friend thought when she asked me to teach a yoga class at her house for preschool-aged children.  With no experience teaching children other than my own son (who is only interested if he can jump on me while in a risky position), I was hesitant, but this was a single, donation-based class benefiting the preschool.  I figured that it would be a good test to see if this was indeed an option for me to pursue while I care for my son in these early years.

Once I agreed, immediately the ideas rushed into my head.  I remembered reading about how colored scarves are a great yoga prop for kids and imagined children twirling around with chiffon rainbows.  A fellow teacher recommended using books as the theme for classes.  I did an internet search and found a lesson plan based on "My Many Colored Days" by Dr. Seuss, which we already happened to have in my son's library.

It's a fabulous book that encourages children to become familiar with their emotions - perfect for a yoga class where we will introduce mindfulness practices.  Inspired, I quickly wrote up an outline for asanas that could correspond to the animals, colors, and feelings presented in the book (see bottom of this post for details).

I was so ready!

Did the class go as planned?  Um, no.

The yoga space that my friend offered was bordered by mounds of toys.  And not just any toys - NOISY toys.  Noisy toys that a child can ride on through the "yoga" room.  It was chaos and hard to control.  Basically, we adults did the practice while I tried to read the book and gently shout instructions.  Every once in while the children would stop and join us.  But for most of the class, they just played while we practiced yoga to a child's book.

Afterwards, I vowed to myself that I would never teach yoga to preschoolers again.  However, now that many months have passed, I may be interested in trying again.  I've added the outline of the class I did, below.  If you're interested in teaching this, I'd suggest working with kids older than 4 years if you expect to stick with the plan.  And remove any distracting toys.  (Please let me know if you need any clarification by asking questions in the comments section.)

I suppose it doesn't matter if the children are able to sustain their attention through the entire class.  It is not important if they experience the lengthened periods of peace that we adults strive for.  I think that it's most important that children realize that there is a method that exists for attaining peace and one they can revisit over and over as they grow.  But for now, watching adults practice yoga and noticing how it affects them may be the best way to introduce yoga to very young children.  ~ Namaste~

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My Many Colored Days - yoga class for 4-8 year olds

I.   Introduce theme and how it applies to yoga & our lives

II.  Introductions (singing while clapping)- say name and pick out a scarf
"My name is ____.  ____ is my name.  I like the color ____ " (as child picks out scarf).

III. Breathing exercise - awake to sensations inhaling & exhaling with scarf over face…then belly

IV.  Warm-up 

• Wake-up body parts by brushing scarves over them
• Cat/cow stretches --> child's pose 
• 1 - 2 sun salutations if possible

V.    Read the book - Yoga poses by color

• Red horse - Downward dog, Donkey kicks/handstand prep
• Blue bird - Pigeon, Warrior 3 with airplane arms
• Brown bear - Squat
• Yellow busy bee - Twirl with scarves
• Gray Owl - Freeze!  Mountain pose
• Orange seal - Flow down to belly for cobra/seal
• Green Fish - Roll over on back for fish pose
• Purple dinosaur - Knees into chest
• Pink flamingo - Rock n roll to stand --> Flamingo leg balance
• Black wolf - Warrior 2, Squat --> sit on heels for lion's breath
• Mixed up day - Choose pose from above based on how child feels

VI.   Seated reflection - Basic mindfulness instruction on belly breath

VII.  Savasana

VIII. End with Namaste song

"Every day is a happy day, when we say Namaste.  Respect to you, respect to me.  We live together peacefully."

Empathy for Our 3-Year-Old

Last summer my son befriended a girl at our local park who was one year older than him.  They played nicely together, so the mother and I exchanged contact information and met a few more times before school started back up.  One day, the mother was trying to leave the park and sweetly asked her daughter to put away her sand toys.  The girl paused and gave her mother a piercing cold look, then went back to playing.  The mom giggled softly and whispered to me, "This is what you can look forward to at 3 years old: the big middle finger."

I've been looking back on that moment a lot lately!  The beginning of parenthood was pure joy for me and passed quickly in a blur.  My son is a blessing, but my husband and I are finding that parenting is becoming more difficult as he gets older.  At 3 years old, he is dealing with a flurry of emotions as he explores his world more, is starting to separate from me a bit, and wants to have more control over his experience.

It's easy to fall back into my old reactive ways when he and I clash and I'm in a hurry or only thinking about MY needs.  Though I may not completely understand why my son is not going with the flow as he used to, I am determined to try and understand.  It's important to stop myself and see clearly how I'm feeling.  When it's anger and frustration, the seeds of rage, I must stop before losing my cool.  When I do go off and start yelling it can be scary for both of us, so I've learned to at least pause and let my emotions diffuse a bit before communicating my needs.

With a daily meditation practice, it is easier to achieve a clear frame of mind quickly.  Then I am able to shift my perspective and connect with my son on a deeper level.  Here's some questions I may ask myself next to reestablish our empathetic bond:

What is he doing right now and what may he be feeling?
How does he feel when I ask him to do something else?
How does it feel to be his size, with his communication skills and physical capabilities?
How does it feel to always have to comply with my wishes?
Does he feel heard?

The book "Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids" by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson has been very helpful in providing me with tools to reconnect with my son during tense moments and finding a middle-ground where both our needs are met.  This book is also my introduction to Non-violent Communication, which I find very intriguing and hope to learn more about.

Empathy is the key to building, then maintaining a close relationship with our children.  By fostering it, I am able to refrain from being too authoritarian, a parental position that I feel is not fair for my son and not aligned with my authentic nature.  Instead, I can remain the loving, respectful, and nurturing mother I always hope to be.  And most of the time, my son looks like this:

HAPPY!

Meditative Jump Roping

~swish SMACK thump ~ swish SMACK thump ~ 

~swish SMACK thump ~

Arms and legs move in perfect synchronicity as I jump with a rapid cadence.  I change up the jump skill to vary the muscles used, but other than that, this exercise is extremely repetitive. Swing, jump, swing, jump, over and over and over.  Surprisingly, I never become bored or frustrated.  This is mainly because I have been able to use this movement to experience something deeper: a meditative state of being.

Sometimes I focus on sound, sometimes it's my breath, many times I just feel the power of my feet propelling my body from the floor and lightly making contact with the earth again.  All the while, I am calm & focused.

It is possible to experience meditation with any repetitive exercise.  Running, walking, swimming, and skating all help to keep our bodies healthy while our minds are trained in awareness.  Of course it is possible to "zone out" instead, or rely on the distraction of music while engaging in these sports, and I'd bet that's when most injuries happen.  When we are aware of how our bodies are responding and can distinguish between objective thoughts and those of the ego, it is really hard to push yourself beyond your limits and become injured.

So why do I love jump roping in particular?

• It feels good!
• I feel youthful doing it, but with greater skill than my younger self!
• It only takes 15-20 minutes to reap the same benefits as running or walking for longer periods.  For a busy mom, short exercise routines are a must!
• I can do it anywhere and only need my trusty rope.
• It gives my mind space - not to roam, but instead to tune in. 
• It's fun to do with children.  My son is still little, but he can't wait to learn how so we can jump together.

Here is my beauty, a simple speed rope:

And if you are interested in learning more about jump roping, here is an excellent book written by US Olympian and Master Jumper Buddy Lee:

You can also check out the Jump Rope Institute.

Jump roping is seriously good exercise, for body & mind.  I encourage you to give it a try!  

Remembering My First Experience with Meditation

For many of us who practice meditation, the discipline was adopted during a very difficult period in our lives.  Meditation, especially vipassana or mindful awareness, eventually shows us where disharmony exists in our lives, and gives us tools to pull us up and out of our personal mess.

Here is a brief background on my "personal mess".  My mother raised my sister and I by herself until she remarried when I was in high school.  We never had a lot of money and she did not value education.  She declared one day in my Senior year of high school that I couldn't go to college because she couldn't afford it (without looking into financial aid options or anything else that could help me).  I felt this was so unfair and sad because I loved to learn and had so much potential.  She figured I was self-sufficient and she focused instead on her job, her new marriage, and my younger siblings. So after high school, I sought out part-time jobs to pay for my community college education while I continued to live at home with my family.

After completing my lower division courses, I transferred to the local State University.  Around the same time, I found a full-time job, moved into a studio apartment, and started using financial aid to help pay for my tuition (also incurring major credit card debt).

It was extremely difficult to balance work and university studies.  It did not help, of course, that I chose a very difficult major.  I trudged along trying to complete my Biology degree without really enjoying the advanced coursework.  I had to get through this!  Most of my grades were very average.  Some were really bad (Calculus).  I gained ~ 20 lbs.  I drank massive amounts of coffee to stay awake and smoked cigarettes as a way to cope emotionally.  It was difficult to have meaningful romantic relationships.

Somehow, I was doing really well in my new position at this environmental testing laboratory I was working at.  That is where I placed my energy, and where I received the most help.

My supervisor was the angel who suggested that I attend an "Intro to Meditation" workshop they were having at my company after hours.  I sat among my co-workers, all at least 10 years older than I, and wondered why I had been asked to join the group.

One of the exercises made quite an impression on me.  The instructor asked us to pick up a single raisin from many that she had on the tray.  First we described the raisin to each other.  We noted it's size, it's texture, it's color, and it's smell.  Then we didn't just "eat" the raisin.  We salivated, chewed it, tasted it, felt the change in the raisin's structure as it turned to liquid, and swallowed the syrupy goodness.  Our senses were alive and these simple details became important as we put them in the foreground of our awareness.

I was able to experience a raisin as I never had before!  And I appreciated my body for the pleasure of it's sweet taste.  It occurred to me that if I had overlooked the simple details of eating, what else was I missing?  And I noted that as I "meditated" on eating the raisin, I was calm and focused.

This was the seed that was planted in my consciousness so long ago.  It took much more hardship and many mindfulness experiences to really understand how meditation could help me.  After several years, it become part of my life.

I immersed myself in the practice and found my teachers.  At that point, compassion, patience, and understanding replaced the desperation, self-loathing, and worry that I clung to as a young adult.  And with fine-tuned awareness, I was able to make choices that placed me on this life path that feels most authentic.

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Comments are welcome!  I would love to hear how YOU discovered meditation and made it a priority in your life.

Blessings...

Body, Heart, & Mind of a Post-natal Yogini

I started taking yoga classes in my late 20s, at the time considering this my "prime". It satisfied my ego nature, as I was able to do backbends quite easily, which are some of the more challenging postures for the general population.  However, after over a decade of practice, many imbalances were revealed.  I lacked strength in my core and hamstrings and lacked flexibility in my hip flexors and gluteals.  It was frustrating that many yoga postures were still out of my reach. I even had a few instructors comment on how unusually limited I was, given how I had a flexible spine. Ouch.  Instead of letting this bother me, I grew humble and just accepted that this is how my body was.  And that humility helped greatly as my teaching experience grew. I was able to relate to my students better.  Also, I was able to focus more on meditation and energetics like qi gong.  As it should be, working with my limitations was a doorway to deeper yogic practices. 

Then I became pregnant and had my baby by an emergency c-section. 

Oh my, oh my, has my practice changed!  It is like starting all over again, except I have a very complete toolbox and know what will likely work. The amount of time put in is so different now. Before, my asana practice would usually be ~ 1 hour long in the morning or afternoon and I would meditate every evening for ~ 30 min. before bed. Now, I'm lucky if I can get 45 min. of asana (posture practice) in right before I hop into bed (if my son doesn't need me first!)  My meditation is <15 min.  Sometimes meditation is on the fly while I'm nursing or sitting at the park.  Not really "formal" at all.

Even though I practice for less time, I am definitely seeing changes.  My hips are way more open than before giving birth.  I am able to do lotus pose (padmasana) quite comfortably for the first time in my life.  Used with fish pose (matsyasana) it is helping immensely with the issues that came up for me during pregnancy and from the surgery. Note for women wishing to get pregnant: Please, never take a C-section lightly. It is a major abdominal surgery. I've had gastrointestinal  issues ever since, but that can be talked about in a later post...

So, my body is different. For some reason, I'm holding onto the last 15 lbs gained from pregnancy (and I was definitely not svelte before that!)  Still, I am continuing to heal and transform on every level. Keeping my body open is helping to make space in my heart and mind as well.  The brief contemplative practices of meditation and qi gong (maybe along with oxytocin?!) seem to be just enough to help me be a more loving mother, wife, family member, friend, neighbor, and inhabitant on this beautiful planet. 

It is our motivation, intention, and gentle approach to working with ourselves that is important, not so much what we do or how much we do.  Most long-time yogis know this. Just practice, that is yoga, regardless of life circumstances. This is hard to teach to beginners.  It is difficult for many to be still, to accept that they can't do everything, and take responsibility for what comes up in their practice.  I am glad to say that I know many students who have and are now yogis for life.  And for myself, I know that this is only the beginning. 

Transforming a "Bad" Day with Loving Kindness Meditation

I was so excited for my toddler as he peddled "super fast" down the driveway. It has taken months, but he finally mastered riding his tricycle by himself. We laughed and chased his neighborhood friends until we encountered another neighbor - one who apparently does not like kids. I smiled when I first saw her. She responded with a stone cold face and then yelled at us for riding our bikes on the common town home driveway.  She told us this was against the Homeowner Association rules and then proceeded to seethe as she stormed back and forth with her garbage (trailing packing popcorn, which I couldn't help but point out to her.)

It felt so horrible to be yelled at in front of my child.  This altercation came out of nowhere and I was left with a knot in my stomach. I thought about it several hours afterwards. Were my thoughts affecting the way I was interacting with my son?  Probably. He was very emotional the rest of the day, but did not talk about the neighbor at all.  He seemed to forget the event completely.  Oh, and I forgot to mention that I was so flustered after this argument that I accidentally locked my son & I out of the house.  Yes, this was a very bad day. Luckily for us I had my phone handy and my husband was able to come home quickly to let us back in. 

Now, I'm not really interested in sharing my defense or talking badly about this woman.  Neither are productive and do nothing to help one feel better.  If anything, these actions produce an even greater feeling of separation or superiority in relation to the other person.  How do we forgive without needing to forget?  And how do we move on from uncomfortable encounters like this without obsessing about the details, assuming a victim mentality, and/or holding a grudge against the person who offended us? Life has given me plenty of opportunities to figure this out.  Loving kindness (Metta) meditation has consistently helped me transform a really bad day into one that is pleasant or at least insightful.  Basically, it is a meditation that helps us forgive by realizing that we all deserve to be happy on this Earth. Once my son was asleep for the night, I sat alone with a candle and began. 

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Loving Kindness Meditaition

1. Bring your body into a comfortable, alert seated posture. If sitting in a chair, it's always advisable to sit near the end with your feet firmly planted on the floor so that you're still using your postural muscles to support your spine (not relying on the back of the chair).

2. Take a few deep breaths to bring your mind down into your body and fully present in the moment. 

3.  Repeat the verses below, or something similar if you wish to change it up. These are well wishes for all sentient beings. I will elaborate on their meaning after these instructions. 

May you be free from fear and harm

May you be happy as you are

May you be at peace with whatever comes

4.  First you will be directing these wishes toward yourself. For me, it helps to hold in my mind an image of myself when I was very young. We usually have an easier time forgiving children since they are so innocent. Forgiving and wishing yourself the very best is the most important step in this meditation. Take as much time as you need here and repeat these lines until you feel that you really mean it. You deserve happiness. 

5.  Then bring to mind someone you love dearly. Again, repeat these phrases until it feels authentic.

6. Next, bring to mind someone neutral. It may be someone you have seen often but don't really know. Perhaps someone working at your local supermarket. 

7. And finally, think about the person who you are having difficulty relating to.  Can you direct these well wishes to this person?  It helps me to imagine this person as an innocent child (again, as I do myself) or at least to acknowledge that even though this person's history is unknown, we may have more in common that we think.

May you be free from fear and harm

We can become paralyzed by fear to the point that our lives are very limited, not fully lived.  Holding onto this fear is unhealthy and can actually create energetic disturbances in the body that can lead to physical and mental disease. By wishing for freedom from fear and harm we are trying to let go of fearful beliefs and negativity. Underneath it all is wide-open awareness and a state of equanimity. 

May you be happy as you are

I think this can be interpreted in many ways.  Those of us practicing mindful meditation believe that we ARE wide-open awareness and equanimity is our natural state. By peeling off layers of fear and any other contrived emotional walls we reveal our authentic nature. It is possible for us all to attain, if we practice awareness and can clearly see how certain beliefs are making us feel separate from others. This does not mean that we should adhere to rigid belief systems and never apologize for our behavior.   We must still learn from mistakes and change accordingly, and yield in certain relationships in order to live harmoniously with others. So, this mantra is more about realizing that you are essentially happy, in a state of equanimity, when we drop all our life stories and instead drop into awareness. 

May you be at peace with whatever comes

We can trust in the universe, revel in the mystery, and know that everything happens for a reason. 

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After completing this meditation I was able to sleep peacefully.  Now when I think of my child-hating neighbor, I do not feel the same anger and dread.  Instead, I feel sad that she is not able to see the beauty that is in all children, but I respect her need for privacy.  No, I don't think I will be inviting her over for dinner, but we will walk quietly as we pass her home and will ride our bikes elsewhere since there is plenty of space after all.  There is plenty of space for all of us if we are wide open and compassionate inside.